Tales from an alternate universe where, instead of being all-star podcasters, the members of Team DBAH sought their fortunes inside the squared circle. Wars will be waged, champions will rise, and loyalties will be tested in a two-year-old game based on a show about wrestling that isn’t wrestling.
Team DBAH exploded onto the scene in the WWE the night after Wrestlemania XXIX. Lead by the never static, always charismatic Charlie Danger, the men in red and black made definitive statements that a new era had begun. Craig Tiki, masked master of the dropkick, excelled at aerial feats while the mohawked Msgt. Bush suplexed foes into submission. Rounding out the group was The Wolf, a monster from humanity’s Darkest Fears. For the first two months, the Team dominated the lower and mid-card, putting their peers on notice: Team DBAH had arrived and nothing would stand in their way.
The Team’s first real challenge came from the team of Tensai and Brodus Clay, Tons of Funk. The tattooed titans sought to squash the upstart stable, represented by Danger and Bush. Much to ToF’s surprise, it was they who would by dominated week in and week out by the two gladiators, culminating in decisive victories at June’s No Way Out and July’s Money in the Bank.
Bush, having made a particularly impressive showing, was given a shot at Kofi Kingston’s United States Championship while Danger and Tiki were announced as number one contender’s to the Tag Team Championship held by Shield members, Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins. Despite the amicability between the two superstars, Bush and Kingston wrestled hard-hitting matches for a month until Bush was able to defeat the high-flyer at Summerslam, earning his first singles title. That same night, despite weeks of underhanded schemes and dirty tactics, Danger and Tiki scored a victory over the Shield, becoming the WWE Tag Team Champions. On the road to their rematch, Bush and Kingston’s friendship soured. Desperate to reclaim his lost title, Kingston turned heel and viciously attacked the new champion, taking the rivalry to new heights of aggression. Despite giving into his rage, Kingston was unable to take back the title at Night of Champions, and the Master Sergeant retained. Similarly, Danger and Tiki were successful in fending off the ambushes of the Shield and also retained that same night.
Bush’s first challenger for his United States Championship was the Milan Miracle, Santino Marella, who challenged the reigning champion at Hell in a Cell. The match was one of unprecedented ferocity and not even the steel enclosure could contain the two superstars, as the match quickly spilled to the outside after Bush suplexed Marella through one of the walls. The two brawled their way to the top of the cell until, after a tumultuous back-and-forth, Bush managed to powerbomb the Italian grappler off the roof and send him hurtling into the announce table below. A final Saving Grace inside the ring was enough for the Champion to claim victory.
In December, after two months respite from their last title defense, Danger and Tiki were eagerly awaiting the announcement of their new number one contender’s. To their amazement, their old nemeses Reigns and Rollins had clawed their way back through the Tag Team ranks to challenge the champion’s to a Tag Team Table Match at Tables, Ladders and Chairs. The match was pure chaos as bodies and tables were strewn everywhere. While Tiki and Rollins viciously dueled outside the ring, Danger speared Reigns through a table set up in a corner, securing the win.
The Team rolled right into the New Year, facing their number one contender’s, Rey Mysterio and Sin Cara, head on at the Royal Rumble in a Tag Team Falls Count Anywhere match. Despite the high-flying antics of their masked foes, DBAH managed to pick up the win after Tiki gave Sin Cara a Side Effect through the announce table. The masked duo was not done with the champions yet and continue to face them through the weeks leading to Elimination Chamber all the way to Wrestlemania. The rivalry was fierce and tensions exploded on both sides, with both teams getting into squabbles over victories and losses. However, Tiki and Danger were able to put aside their grievances on the grandest stage of them all and retain the titles at Wrestlemania XXX.
While all of this was going on, the WWE Universe was shocked at the announcement of United States Champion Msgt. Bush as number one contender for the WWE Championship. Triple H, having just won the championship from Mr. Money in the Bank CM Punk, was nonplussed about the announcement, to say the least. The Game launched a brutal campaign against his challenger of mind games and post-match attacks. However, it was all for naught as Bush was able to claim victory at the Royal Rumble by pinfall, and became the holder of two title belts. Bush was immediately put through the wringer at February’s Elimination Chamber, where the champion was forced to defend his new title against five other superstars, including rival Triple H, in the eponymous match. Despite the colossal odds, the champion retained, vanquishing his opponents. However, the next night on Raw, the former champion, Triple H, announced he would be invoking his rematch clause at Wrestlemania XXX in an I Quit match. What followed was one of the most brutal rivalries ever seen by this writer. Matches often overflowed outside of the ring, destroying barriers and tables. The walls of Wrestlemania echoed with numerous chair shots and sickening thuds of suplexes on the ringside floor. After being slammed into his own sledgehammer and driven face first into a chair, the Cerebral Assassin said “I quit,” and Msgt. Bush retained, leaving Wrestlemania still the WWE Champion.
And what of The Wolf? The Terror from Humanity’s Darkest Fears has remained in the mid-card, despite a near perfect win record. His Royal Rumble showing was less than stellar. Despite entering rather late in the contest, the Wolf only wrestled for a full minute before being eliminated by a group of wrestlers. Will a new year bring a fresh season for the monstrous behemoth?
More importantly, what will the new year bring for Team DBAH? Many think that Danger and Tiki are some of the top wrestlers in the company. What would happen if they were named top contender’s for one of Bush’s titles? Can last year’s most dominant new arrivals maintain their reign and, perhaps more importantly, their cohesion? And what new faces lurk on the horizon? Only time will tell.